Interlude

I'm not OK, this I know now. I thought I was but after careful thought and events, I lost some key aspects of me that makes me different. Some compromises pondered have changed certain perspective I have. I was in a routine job exploratory interview and somehow the headhunter noticed that I was not that passionately interested with the offer. If we move a few minutes earlier, I was in fact trying to decompress some thoughts totally not related with the interview. I did get shortlisted but I just declined the opportunity since it may not be the right time.

Along the way, I somehow lost my passion in some of the things I do and even if I can still get things done, I am still bothered since being passionate in the things I do has been one of my edge. If I can't give it a 100%, I'd rather not give it at all. A former mentor of mine once told that if you do things with passion, you could never fail. Maybe that's how I get to surpass those impossible situations before. Well, I guess there are steps to be taken, stories to be re-written, and chapters to be closed.

That's the thing about emotions, we can ignore them for all we want but it will eventually catch up and maybe the best resolution is just letting the emotions set in, good or bad, and build up from that point on. There are some wounds to be healed and ties to be repaired but it has to start real soon. I guess it may not be time for new beginnings and I again find myself in an interlude, undecided to take baby steps forwards or try to resolve the present or maybe both.

I hate being stuck in this interlude but I do hope I get back to being OK and the other significant aspect of who I am is I try to be as positive as I can so I'll be OK soon and even if I don't know when, I know I will be. That's all that matters as of now.

Chasing New Beginnings

An annual report won't be an annual report without all the drama and I guess the relaxing week in Taipei was just a tease and a prelude to a bigger headache and I am now again burned out for the record time of two days and I still have a conference call tomorrow. Yesterday was really tiring... Morning meetings... Trip to and from Bataan... Plant Tour and Dinner meetings... Towards the last minute, everything that could go wrong has gone and some annoying people has taken their sweet time while we were chasing deadlines. It's difficult being in the under appreciated end. I'll just have to take comfort that we are starting to print... print... print... Tomorrow will just be a conference call will just be a routine but I'll be battle ready and my mean streak is on...

And about the mean streak... I may not be as nice as I used to be but I guess being fair means giving credit where credit is due but at the same time prompting them when something is not in place. A fair compromise... In my mild-mannered ways, I do try to vent out as much as I can when things are in disarray... I'm such a problem solver to leave things hanging but I guess, a good part of controlling people is not dictating their every move but allowing people to move on their own and yet stay on top of things.

I've always ended and started my season at work with the printing of the annual report. Every time I finish the annual report, I'm always chasing new beginnings... a new start... and a lot to look forward to... There are certain chapters I have yet to close but I'm now looking forward to new beginnings in so many aspects... Sometimes, it's the easier to begin anew than to hold on the uncertain... If this new beginnings will take me somewhere else then so be it.

The beauty of chasing new beginnings is that it gives us hope that everything will turn up fine and each new beginning enters a stronger character created by the previous chapter in the story called - life...

Be Happy

I've lost count on how many times I've been to Taiwan and we probably ran out of places to go as this trip was a plain business trip. It's not that we didn't have time to explore but it's just a case of been there and done that. I can't say all is well as we are not yet officially over and some of the work will have to be done when we go home. I do have to attend to an important meeting on Monday and I guess, that's the part where I have to cram a bit. Monday will be tough that's all I can say. Of course, let's count the things I appreciate for this trip... less stress... cool climate... not so late night walks and coffee... warm jacuzzi baths... spacious new office... the challenge of ordering food... and a lot of free time...

Free time - That's something I didn't want to have the last weekend since there are certain thoughts I didn't want to entertain. Of course, that won't be the case as somehow, I've develop a very responsible body clock. As of late, I get to wake up even before my alarm sounds and even during weekends and I'm hating every part of it because it's the stolen 5 or 10 minutes of sleep that is the best part of waking up. I hope this isn't age catching up with me.

You can always be happy if you let yourself be...

That's one of the basic tenets I got to remember with all those time to think. I always made each choice on that very principle... whatever makes you happy... Eventually, we all want to be headed towards that direction but of course, in our attempt to be happy we should also be considerate and unselfish enough to realize that the world revolves around in so many ways that we don't have always to be at the center of the universe. There's always a reason to be happy and we just have to be vigilant enough to appreciate that there little things that when taken as a bundle makes people smile. Whatever happens, happiness is always a choice and by choosing to be, we can be stronger and better prepared at what lies ahead...

In a few hours, it will be back to home for me and I'm always excited coming home after my short business trip even though It'll be a shift from the cool climate of Taipei to the oven-warmth of Manila. I guess even at my jet-setting mode, I'll always appreciate the comfort of home. I still have to get past a tough Monday meeting but after that there will be more time to go back to the fun days I usually have. I might go back for a quick trip to my hometown, Baguio and will be spending the holy week in Clark. My travel itinerary has not been as organized as it was in last year but I'll try to catch up.

Things are just getting started to be on the exciting side...

Back to Chasing the Impossible

I'm such a kid when it comes to birthdays... I look forward to the celebration... seeing people... getting greetings... a few gifts... and the importance you get on this day... I really appreciate people who are part of each and every celebration... who took time to send a message or a post just to greet me... All is well appreciated and I'm glad to grow old around people dear to me...

It's now back to normal and normal would me includes chasing impossible deadlines... let me recount the challenge ahead... Trip to Taiwan for the annual report... Finish annual report within a week instead of two... Preparing for a major meeting the first day I get back and my usual day to day headache... I guess, I'm born for this challenges... Maybe this should be a welcome diversion to some items I have to set aside...

Normal is not exactly the place I'd want to be after experiencing some comfort and warmth. I realized that there are items in my priority list that are worth sacrificing my free willing ways but that again has to wait. I guess on this aspect I can say I am not in a good place. It's difficult knowing that your best efforts and pure intentions are not sufficient and no matter how you try to unravel the facts, you can't solve the riddle. You win some... you lose some... I know in the end that it will all balance out and at the right place and the right time, I'd be back to the finer side of life...

You can't have it all or at least, you can't have it all at once... I'll be bidding my time but after chasing the impossible, I'll be chasing the essentials... If there's one thing I learned, it's the difficult road may be more interesting than the fastest road and that there is always a reason for everything that happens and we may not understand it but we'll just have to take it as it is cause it's the accidents that makes life interesting.

And the other thing I'd want to chase is my mileage and my travels. I'm off to Clark for the holy week just shortly after I come back from Taiwan and I may be impulsive enough to book another trip elsewhere... I should start working on my Europe and Australian Visa cause I may need another escape after AGM in Singapore... but that too will have to wait...

The chase goes on but after this chase I now know what is essential...

FrancVille Level Up

At this day and age, I guess we don't get old already - We just level up. I'd like to say that I have lived my life without "Ifs". Each passing day was just a new lesson learned which leads us to our level ups. Of course, there's always new lessons to learn, paths to explore and crossroads to get past but I'd like to think in my own twisted way, that I did live the life I wanted to. Not always the easy road, not always the typical existence, not always a bed of roses... I guess, in order to make the most of any situations, we just have to take whatever life throws at us - the good... the bad... and the ugly. Things or situation does not always end up the way we want them to be but in its own complicated way, each step or misstep is just a piece of a bigger puzzle...

Happy or sad??? Honestly, I don't know. I'd always live in a state of volatility wherein a moment of happiness is countered by a moment of sadness. I'd like to go on thinking that all things would end up in a happy way. Sometimes, when all is lost, all that I can have is a positive front. I'm too proud not to be happy or if not, at least give it a try. Things will fall in its proper place at the proper time and at the proper circumstances and not necessarily towards our liking but in a way on what is appropriate. That's all I have as of now - a positive outlook and that I cannot lose anytime.

On my road trip today, there were many thoughts that came and passed and one of the ideas that came to mind is that the one luxury I can not give up right now is the chance to be able to walk away anytime I feel that things are not in place. Flexibility is such a comfort at this time that the world has been revolving so drastically. I always had this perspective in the workplace and maybe the volatile mindset keeps me living by the day and yet my positive nature makes me survive the difficult times.

I'm still glad that I am celebrating a new day... a new existence and though it may seem that some momentum had decelerated, I guess, I just have to see the light that I'm standing firm on both feet and though I'd like to decide where to move on... I'll leave a little room for fate and chance to give me the next unexpected turn... and hopefully it'll be a good one. Sometimes, you just have to take life's blows and just hope that you'll have enough energy to last another round...

Speaking of energy, I did have a shortage of it during the heat wave on our plant tour this morning and I wasn't able to finish conducting the tour but at least, I was able to do my presentation after lunch. I'll just be cautious next time I get upfront with the heat of the season.

On a final note, I'm glad that I've been spending the last few days with people who are in my inner circle and people who I care about because that's one of my reasons to celebrate - that there are people just around the corner willing to share in your day!!! A million thanks to those who are part or will be part of the celebrations!!! A Level Up is not complete without people to share it with...

Early Weekend Thoughts

I'm up early on a weekend so might as well vent out some uncluttered thoughts.

It's the weekend before my birthday and the kid part of me is so excited on meeting friends anew, celebrating and just turning a new leaf over. In this time and age, I'd like to call it a level up. A year that passed and hopefully a year as a better individual. I always am showered with so much blessings and burden but at the end of the day, I'm still thankful for everything. Life has always been a roller coaster for me and it leads me up and down at such a rapid pace but I guess, it's not really how many ups and downs you can take but at the end of the ride you are still standing on both feet.

I watched Up In the Air yesterday and I liked it since it was not a typical movie. It says of a jet setter having the time of his life living in the airport but at the end of it all, he realizes that there's more to life than a frequent flyer miles program. A burden free life. At times, I get to live that life always at a safe place ready to move at the slightest provocation but a lot has changed the past month and somehow, I get to glimpse at the future more. Sometimes, we really need those burden to keep us grounded and be able to reach out on things that matter. It makes a world of difference when you know what you want.

And about jet setting ways, I'm set to start off my travel itinerary for the year with a week in Taiwan. We're cutting the trip by a week hoping that we can be more efficient this year for the annual report. I have Singapore next month and the rest is still up in the air but definitely there'll be more but rest assured, I'm still grounded. Somehow, I enjoy my life here enough that I'd always try to minimize the length of my travels.

Changes has been popping in and out as of late and I'm welcoming them with an open mind. I got to develop a "just bring it" persona with a lot of what I do constantly evolving and requiring various approaches. Planning is one thing execution is everything. There's always a part that you think hard about but to a greater extent, it's your reaction that matters. The universe has been moving more dynamic, the faster you adopt the greater chances to catch up.

I'm off to several celebrations in the next few days and I'm looking forward to it. I use to celebrate my birthday before as a welcome break to the busy season (FYI for non-audit/accounting friends, a busy season usually peaks at March and end mid April) but since we are done early it's just a celebration and I'm sure I'm gonna enjoy it since it's been quite some time since we last touch base. Let the parties begin...