Downward Spiral

I've been thrown out of rhythm on a downward spiral due to my stubbornness on some people's meddling ways. I guess I'm not comfortable with all those wasted times spent on endless meetings. I never really developed a momentum to get things done and I hated every part of me free falling out of control and indecisive on things to do. It's a bit odd that I'm back to being out of my comfort zone and lost someplace else again and so soon. I still have a lot to think about on how to be on better terms consistently.

The redeeming value for the week was that I was able to resolve some short term problems with a very creative approach. My creative juices are at its peak when I'm allowed the leeway to think and find ways. I'll try to maneuver more breathing room in the next few days for me be able to be more adaptive to the situation.

Things are being shaken up and shaken up fast and I do believe that these changes has been long-time coming now. I am just torn on whether I should once again choose to take more time in plotting success in the work place or just go on and take a leap of fate and move on to something new. I do now have a bailout plan and that also means me saving a bit to have some financial breathing room to more options in the next few years.

I managed to book a getaway a few weeks from now, which would be followed by another trip to China so I might be gone for a while and squeeze in some time to think things through. I do try to think on what options are there but sleep has been the more viable option. Somehow, I've managed to adjust my sleeping hours and I've been dozing off earlier than usual. I hope this doesn't mean old age... => Come to think of it, I might need the sleep to allow my body to heal since I've been so prone to being sick as of late. The burn out days have been catching up.

Maybe it's the burn out that increases the propensity to go on those downward spirals but I have hit the breaks from skidding. Maybe I'll slide down a bit further or maybe I'm on my way up but that's something I leave for the future to decide on and just believe - believe that I'm on a Downward Spiral - no more. =>

Certainly Uncertain

I had a difference in opinion with one colleague when he mentioned that finance people should work at least 15 hours a day. I don't believe in counting the hours but more on counting the output. I want to do away with the stereotype that finance people are just corporate slaves working endlessly. Then it dawned to me that if this is what's expected of me, is it still worth it??? The pendulum of change has now become dead even. I am now torn on what should be my priorities be at this point in time and what would be a good next step.

I'm certainly uncertain. Though everything may be on status quo, I am now reassessing things and thinking things through. Maybe I need a getaway just to brainstorm since I do remember a time when I was burned out and I still haven't taken my break. I might do something impulsive soon. A good part of this period of uncertainty is that I am more spend-thrift as a bail-out option means turning my back on some financial rewards.

Well, life goes on even on periods of uncertainties and that I know is something certain. Speaking of life, had a blast at Gryf's party and yes too blasted enough to pass out of a drunken spree. A first for me... My tolerance for alcohol may have gone done or I may have gobbled up too much. Well, I just have to think on the upside that since I fell asleep, I didn't force myself to drive my way home. Cool party, dinner to breakfast... hehe...

I also attended my first fun run (at times

, it was a fun walk... hehe). It was worth the waking up early and maybe next time, I will prepare more and probably go for a longer distance. I really haven't hit the gym or done something active lately owing to the fact that I've been on sickbay for most part of the month. I'll try to be well first.

I've been playing travel agent lately but this time, this was not my trip. I am glad that I can send people to different countries to resolve some issues as I like to reduce my travel load. Of course, I still have to go from one site to another from time to time. What interest me this time is to find ways to squeeze in some vacations along the way, I have some free miles to spare for a long trip but that too is uncertain but we'll see.

And one thing that's certain at this time is that I'm exhausted from a fun weekend and that sleepy eyes may have his way as of now... ZZZZZZzzzz....

Excess Inkblogs: I still am in awe at this site last week and the fact that I was able to get a decent shot. This should be happy time since even the moon managed to smile. =>

Changes are Brewing...

Changes are brewing and I can't help but be scared. Somehow, I know it could be a good thing but since I've been on this crossroad years back. I'm still torn on what steps to take. Perspective and priorities have changed and then out comes a totally different puzzle. I guess the slow down mode I've been pondering may have to take a back seat yet again. No matter how I try to slow down I always end up in a frenetic pace. Oh well, I'll find ways to make my time more meaningful and balanced.

This begins in doing away with my messed up ways. We'll regroup, reorganize and refocus. I still have few details on how things are gonna go but it would be less murky in days to come. One thing, I'm sure of is I do have a positive outlook that can surpass a changing environment. It's how I get past pressure packed moments, the unending emotional roller coaster and the frequent mission impossible. We can always be a better person if we take in life lessons from everything that happens, good or bad.

A good part going my way is that I'm back into my happy phase enjoying company of friends and family and everything is starting to heat up (actually, the heat has scorched up) and is leaning toward the exciting. New challenges are starting to pop up and that's one way of getting things going and my role is once again evolving so a lot to look forward to again but of course, I'd still want to maintain my work-life balance.

Changes will always come and I'd say, Just bring it... I'll deal with it as it comes...

I Don't Want To Rule The World

The sound of the song "Everybody wants to rule the world" is still ringing in my ear from a recent round of music banking with super friends and it's timely, as we are in the middle of the first automated elections. The queues were long, the heat was at its peak but people did step up to make their vote count. I was lucky enough to vote early at 8 am and avoid the long wait but I'm glad that I did exercise my right to vote this time. I guess people also are eager to vote this time probably to make sure we do have a new president shortly.

I do have my jet setting tendencies but when I think deeply I don't want to rule the world. I may take my travel load a little bit lighter this time. Come to think of it, I'm running out of places to go. So, it's time to prioritize the other little things I did miss out lately. Travel will always be a part of me, I'm just shifting to first gear to appreciate the scenery. The same goes for my fast-paced career, a little bit on the slow-motion mode to focus on little things. At some point, you do have to make a choice on what you really want to do and try to balance things out.

It's really been a short week from barely arriving from Singapore, I've been to Bataan then to Baguio for Mother's day and the election. It's been a fun week and I'm enjoying my mini slack season. Time out with friends... Mother's Day Celebration in Baguio... Late night coffees... and a little less stress... Things have shifted for the better though health-wise, I'm still struggling with cough and colds. I need to be a little healthier as I feel I'm starting to get bloated from not being able to exercise coming from the sluggishness that sickness brings.

It's gonna be another short week and it'll be a day trip out of town again come weekend. I love summer in the Philippines though I feel bad that I haven't hit the beach yet up until this time. Oh well, the summer is not yet over. Happy days ahead... That gives a hint on why I don't want to rule the world cause it's much fun to rule your own life.

Excess Inkblogs: It's been really hot and even at the summer capital, the heat has been intolerable... Oh well, the heat is on... At least, there are no more rerouted roads from all those political rallies and those annoying jingles...

The Finer Days Are Back

I was sick for the most part of the last few days on my way to Singapore... Head ache... Fever... Cough... Cold... Sore Throat... and Tonsillitis... The heat wave has gone so far and going through the rigors of a board meeting with so little energy and at sick bay has made things challenging. I was able to do my presentation and provide my inputs despite being sick. Well, nothing beats a positive attitude but of course, I still have to be a bit more healthy and have more rest as I approach the finer days again.

I do have this brief slack period coming after AGM and before half year preparations and I'm now looking forward to squeezing some vacations shortly. We'll be going to Villa Escudero with SGV friends by mid-month and trying to find some time for another trip down under. Wait, I am also being requested to be in Cambodia and Shanghai this month... Oh no... how to fit all those in without practically living in the airport. I still haven't hit the beach during the summer. That complicates the equation. Think... Think... Think...

Had a nice time in Singapore. AGM went from boring to very interesting with our first hand experience of getting resolutions passed by poll. Dramatic AGM, I can say. But what makes SG trips worth its while is meeting SG based friends. I was able to have dinner with Sharon, Tin, Warna and Edmond. We missed Unversal Studios since it was sold out but still had fun in Sentosa. There'll be something to look forward in my next visit.

I'm now living in anticipation of the days to come and it doesn't mean that I'm leaving the past behind but I'm taking the past in as a part of who I am and we'll see. Every piece should fall in the right place in time. I just want to stay positive and believe that the finer days are back and that the best is yet to come.