Lazy Lazy Long Weekend

There so many major major events for the week. There's the infamy of a mismanaged hostage drama and the fame of having one of the top 5 places in Ms. U. I just couldn't accept that a plight of one man can damage our nation in so many aspects. My take was that there were many mistakes in handling the situation but there's never a win win scenario in a hostage drama and we ended up with the bad side of the scale. For all its worth, our country is not necessarily one of the worst in the world but we are among the top in terms of transparency that everything is always magnified. We do have to invest in PR build up and minimize the larger than life coverage of events.

Then the major major answer. It was a difficult question to start with. I for one can't think of one event that would be a big mistakes. I guess this dwells from the Philippines resilient nature that even at the worst of times, we still find ways to move past it so we don't remember them as mistakes but just as events or experiences. We always just seem to find ways to smile.

It was a busy busy week as well as I was barely in the confides of the office having to conduct a plant tour in Bataan and hold the audit planning meeting and there goes all the regular office to dos piling up in the yet to do list. Oh well. I still am on my lazy lazy long weekend mode so that will have to wait. Midway into the long weekend, I've almost been at home most of the time. Funny, how there are so many little things I have to do at home which I don't do because of the lack of time. Good thing, it was a car less day yesterday and I was also able to do the small things like organizing my files, cleaning my room, installing softwares, etc.

While I'm all for taking into account the minor details and small stuff but I can't take why people make a big deal about everything like how a simple scheduling of meeting could end up flooding my mailbox with all those lectures. I guess some people are not secure enough with what they know that they take the opportunity to oversell their point. It doesn't make you less of a person to check out other people's perspective. Anyway, I can stand my ground on discussions even despite my mild manner ways.

I want to resume my laziness on this long weekend. =>

Excess Inkblogs: Time is such a powerful tool since it does a lot... we reach our goals... heal our wounds... learn new perspective... While we can't control it, we just have trust that in time, everything will fall in right place... All it takes is time and effort.

The Tide is Turning

The tide is turning and I'm a bit more upbeat and in rhythm and just hopeful that the good days are finally approaching. One of the most difficult situation to be in is being left in the middle of uncertainty wherein you are not sure where you stand. It is really better to just take the fall and take the downside cause at least you'll know that the only way to go is up. It may be a longer way but at least it gets you moving on. Redemption always starts from within.

I'm glad that I have a renewed focus on my health. Not only have I started running again, I am now also taking some time to run during weekdays to get myself fit. I still have a long way to go in being leaner but at least I'm on the right track. It was really fun to take this early evening runs and it's a welcome change after spending months just bumming around home in hibernation mode after office. Hopefully, I can have a consistent effort on this. The goal is simple, be better.

I guess that's a modest goal cause life won't always be fair, people won't always give you what is due and situations won't always be the way you like to look at them but we can always choose to strive to be better. We never lose this way. We may not have the things we desire but there'll always be something in store if we just wait for the real story unfolds. We can have our happy endings but it will just be a matter of time and effort.

And about being fair, I don't get it why some people, even at an advanced level in their careers, have some issue with young people performing well and achieving so much. They tend to be competitive and disruptive. For all its worth everything I have, I worked for and the respect I get from counter parties speaks for itself. People love to claim the credit and pass on the blame. Accountability starts from the top.

Oh well, all will be in its proper perspective in due time and we'll have our time at the helm and a time when things fall apart. I'm just glad that things are in the upside.

Excess Inkblogs: An afternoon nap is priceless.

I'm Done

Just got the half year rush off my back and some things did came off easier as expected. It was great to be able to squeeze in another peak at the bright lights in the Bund and the World Expo and even if the trip was just a full three days including the travel time.

One thing I had so much of is the ME-YOU persona of certain people (ME for the credit and YOU for the blame). Oh well, I'm trying to get used to it and I'd rather be the silent achiever lurking in the shadows. What goes around comes around and credit will be given not to those who grab it but to those who deserve it but then again it's also quite fulfilling getting the job done. It's quite fun doing the impossible.

I'M DONE... I'm done whining nor sulking nor living in the shadows of the past, I'd just want to be a better person. Still have some things to work on... a trimmer waist and fatter wallet... haha... I have a few runs scheduled ahead so I hope the weather also allows me to run during weeknights as to more savings, that's a tougher task from my impulsive spending ways.

And being better means being less affected by the annoyances of everyday. I guess that's called numbness already. We don't always get the things we yearn for but we can always choose to be better. Some proper endings are not there so instead of contemplating on how some things are not in place, I'd rather take steps or leaps or strides and if it leads me back to a familiar place, I'd be happy and if not, I'll be hopeful that a better story have yet to unravel. My heart will relearn how to beat faster again.

Off with tomorrow as much as I'd like to always live by the day, I should get to look at the possibility on what if tomorrow comes??? It's not something to fear but something to look forward to so anything goes... =>

Excess Inkblogs: I really admire people who have the courage to say they are wrong rather than hide in a barrage of excuses. It doesn't make one less of a person to commit mistakes. It's not something to be proud of but it happens so might as well have ownership for one's action.

Leaving

I'm in my usual procrastination mode on packing for an early morning trip to Shanghai tomorrow and one of the reason is I know its gonna be several facebook-less days in China plus all the stress and fireworks involved in the board meeting. At least, I get to peak at the World Expo but I think based on recent event I might not be able to squeeze it in. Excitement level has gone down further.

It's a bit more peaceful this week but looks like the worst is yet to come and as always I'm not looking forward to the board meeting. It always seem not fair that all the work falls on my shoulder and all the blame that goes with it. Imagine, a big part of last week was spent with meeting ISP providers and IT people to remedy our ever so inefficient network and oracle system. I'm still wondering why I'm the one doing this things and being blamed for some delays when I'm in finance. I just hope some people grow their own spine and take some accountability.

I'm glad I was able to spend some time away from work... meeting some friends today... had a ran at the Fort last Tuesday... and a lot of time at sickbay, I'm still hoping my cough will go away before my trip early tomorrow... It's the second straight board meeting that I'll be flying in not in my peak of health. It's becoming a pattern now but I'll be able to manage my presentations.

Some perspective has shifted again and this time, I'm seeing things in a different light and a bit pessimistic in things I have to do and maybe it makes some sense. I guess there are always risks we have to take, even if we end up winning or losing, just to get the answers we are searching. Well, I'll be leaving that thought for a while and...

I have to pack my stuff now and maybe... just maybe... catch some sleep...

Bruised and Battered

It's been a difficult week. I did get some messages of concern and encouragement in between but somehow I'm in a tipping point. Stress I can take... Mission impossible I have crossed that line several times... Unending politics, bickering and blame-throwing is starting to take its toll...

I should really get used to this by now but I'm in deep thought if I just allow the situation as they are. Even if I don't give much of a damn for the irrelevant, being under constant attacks is not ideal either. Looking good by discrediting other people doesn't make you less insecure. I'm comfortable that I am able to contribute accordingly so even if I'm bruised and battered by the attacks, I will survive. Maybe after you have walked your talk, that would be the time I would listen.

I just don't get it that people tend to count other people's blessings instead of their own. To make things simpler, there are more things in life than financial rewards and now, I'd like to dwell more on the other essential things in this next phase. I'm probably leaps and bounds away from my other goals but I'll have time to catch up.

And speaking of to dos, I do have an unresolved issue to deal with... somehow I know what to do but I'm still lost on how to get it done. I know that I should find a way to bridge some gaps but I'm afraid I might create a much larger wall that sets us apart further. I'm speaking in riddles... hahaha... That's exactly my frame of mind as of late... a big unravelled riddle...

Well, I'm glad to end on a peaceful note... A lot of requirements are complete and ended up meeting friends - dinner with an audit colleague and party with the AGSB gang... All is well that ends well for now... Life is just too important to take seriously... =>

Excess Inkblogs: In the heat of the frustrations, I ran 5K at the Ayala Triangle to blow off some steam... When things are not well, it's good to appreciate the simple things like a nice walk and a good run.

Dark Clouds

It seems that I've been walking on dark clouds in the past few months as nothing has going in my favor and now Stressville is back as half year preparations is at its peak. To add salt to wound in some ways I feel betrayed by certain moves of some people. It always have to go that way, when the going gets tough, the odds pile up against me. Makes me think if I still want to be part of this infernal cycle.

Bail out options has again crossed my mind. The comfort of just turning my back and let others do all the problem solving is tempting as ever but of course, that would have its consequences. A hiatus maybe something I need but that would have me throwing everything I ever worked for. I just can say as of now that I'd give up anything just to be back in the finer side of life even just for a day.

I sure wish to be back to the finer side of life. I hope it follows the pattern before that the fine times come after Stressville. Of course, it's a few more difficult weeks to go. Pathetic how I am so drained or demoralized after work that I have no energy to do other stuff considering that I should start training for another run. I'll just look forward to the time that the ball will bounce in my favor. I now know that what goes around comes around so for the mean time I'll try to be back to my nice guy personality in hopes that good things come back in bundle or if not at least I was able to lend a helping hand. That's one thing that makes me happy.

I'm always caught with the thought that chasing happiness is one of the simplest purpose of life. At the end of the day, if we can't be happy with what we are doing then everything won't make sense. And on the chasing the one I like... I'm giving her a head start and hoping when the chase begins, she'll be ready to get caught. Let me clear the dark cloud first.

Vent out over... You have to live life before you can write about it. I guess everything that happens, good or bad, is meant to give us a better understanding of life and the dark clouds are there for us to appreciate the sunshine.

Flashbacks Overload

I've been haunted by some sweet thoughts that I shouldn't remember by this time. Maybe it's triggered by being so close to a familiar place. How can some memories carved in so short a span of time still linger so long??? I guess there are still some words unspoken, thoughts unheard and doors to be closed or maybe a case of selective amnesia. I'm still bidding my time and space and will just hope that all would be well and fine in due time.

It's been a rough week coupled by a powerless day after the storm. It makes me believe that we are so dependent on the wonders of electricity. Funny how it felt being outdoors is much cooler than enduring the warm temperature indoors. I'm just glad that the storm is over and we had power shortly. This just goes to the normal course of things in our board meeting preparations as every time we are doing our preparations something happens.

I've also spent some time being a villain in the story for a change. Not the villain who does the bad deed but the one that goes against the popular choices. I'm not one to make obvious choices anyway and this time I felt that the structure was definitely wrong and had just to throw a wrench to stop it. You'll never make everybody happy, even if you try to because everybody would want something different and the best thing to do is just balance it.

From a villainous shift to an enlightened turn with a nice dinner conversation with our batch only priest, Fr. John. I'm still amazed how his choice of being a priest had him ended up exploring a huge chunk of the world and how much language he has already mastered. He was always good with words that's why I'd rather not proofread his pieces during our school paper days... Nose bleed. Somehow, I realized I'm in the exact place I should be and that I'm happy in so many ways though of course there'll always be something we want more... but I'd leave that as something I'd aspire for...

And one last thing, I did leave this threat... hehe... If I am unmarried by 40, I'll consider priesthood... Just kidding, I'm sure I'm not welcome in the profession. I'll just do my good deeds outside that circle... =>